The Seven Years' War

I do not like Frederick the Great of Prussia. I want his power to be reduced, so that he won't be a threat to my empire. So because of that sole reason, becauseI do not like Frederick of Prussia, I sided against Prussia and Great Britain in the Seven Years' War alongside France and Austria. Although I was afflicted by a serious illness that began with a fainting fit at Tsarskoe Selo in 1757, neither that or the fall of Bestuzhev interfered with my furious determination to see this horrible man crushed. The war had finally brought him to the edge of ruin, and he was despairing of any success at all (which, of course, brought me secret glee). I held together the shaky elements of the anti-Prussian alliance because of my unshakeable firmness and determination to DESTROY THIS MAN. I knew that this man must be reduced to the rank of Prince-Elector because if not, he would harm his neighbors in the future. I must protect the country of my birth, that my father died for! I have tried to subtly reconcile Great Britain and France, if only because then we could all be united against that stupid Prussia. However, this backfired a little, and only led to France wholeheartedly throwing everything they had into the war! I guess Louis was just a teeny bit jealous of me, I am so much better after all. However, even though we had been on the verge of winning, the serious illness that had been pursuing me all these years.. had finally caught up to me.

There's me looking amazing on that horse.

My Heir

Because I didn't really want any kids, it was kind of up to me to find an heir for the throne after I was gone. I picked my nephew, Peter of Holstein-Gottorp. My cousin, Ivan VI, that I had imprisoned in Schlusselburg Fortress was still a threat to my claim on the throne! I am afraid that there may be a coup in his favor, so I set about destroying anything, coins, papers, even mentioning Ivan. I ordered that if he even tried to escape.. he was to be eliminated. However, he never attempted to escape during my reign.. he probably felt unsafe, as he should be. THE THRONE IS MINE! My nephew Peter, and my heir to the throne, had lost his mother, (my sister Anna) at the age of 3 months, and his father at the age of 11. I brought him to the church at Saint Petersburg and proclaimed him heir. I also provided for him Russian tutors to help with his education, and settled on Princess Sophie of Anhalt-Zerbst as his future bride. In memory of my mother Catherine, I had his fiance renamed Catherine. The marriage took place in August of 1745. Although my foolish nephew did not take any interest in parenting their child, Paul, I certainly did take an interest. I even acted like I was his very own mother! Catherine was of no consequence. I only let Catherine see him briefly once after the month he was born, and then once more after six months. I raised him as he should be raised, as the true heir and the great grandson of my father, Peter the Great.

 

Well.. When it came down to it, it was Ivan and his mother or the son of my dear sister Anna.

Bestuzhev's Policies

I abolished the cabinet council system that was in favor during Anna's rule (the name is so common, and I hate it, I should abolish that name!) and reconstituted the whole entire government to the way it had been back under my father's rule. The first thing I did was address the quarrel I had with Sweden. Obviously, because I was soooo charming, Sweden ceded to Russia the entire southern part of Finland that was easy of the river Kymmene, that became the boundary between our two states. This was called the Treaty of Abo, because it was signed in the town of Abo. Well.. it was only partially due to my charm, because most of the diplomacy handled by my new vice chancellor, Aleksey Petrovich Bestuzhev-Ryumin. But, since his policies would have been ineffective without my support, I feel that I should be credited. And, because I am so smart, I put him at the head of foreign affairs. He was the anti-Franco-Prussion part of my council, and wanted to achieve an Anglo-Austro-Russian alliance! He was targeted by the Lopukhina Conspiracy and monarchs like Frederick the Great and Louis XV wanted to get rid of him because of this. He managed to speed up the peace negotiations, and this led to the treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle, in October 1748. He's so cool! His efforts led to Russia's alliance with the courts of Vienna and London, and our effectual assertion in Poland, Turkey, and Sweden. This isolated that horrid Frederick of Prussia, and forced him into hostile alliances. This was only possible because I backed him so completely, even though my personal friends had made enemies with him. However, later, I removed him from his office in 1758, because he was trying to make me and my darling heir fight.

 Go go Bestuzhev !

Palace Revolution of 1741

While my awful cousin Anna had been on the throne, lazing her butt off, I have been gaining supporters in the background without her noticing. However, she seems to have been somewhat competent, because after her death and the subsequent ascension to the throne of my baby cousin Ivan VI and his regent mother Anna Leopoldovna (seriously, why so many Annas?), there were so many more problems in the Empire! The people were taxed higher and there were many economic crises. Because of the problems, however, it is possible for me to overthrow the weak, corrupt government. And, being the daughter of Peter the Great, the Russian Guard Regiments support me greatly. I have a very close relationship with the Guard, and I often go by and play with their children as a sign of goodwill. This kindness was repaid when they helped me to seize back the throne that is rightfully mine. I asked them whether or not they were willing to help me, the rightful heir, or allow the ones who had stolen my throne to keep their clutches on it! Of course, they chose me, and arrested my baby cousin and their whole family, all without bloodshed-- I know I am amazing. The night that I asked them to help me, I vowed I would never sign a single death sentence within my reign. And I am proud to say that I have kept that promise. I crowned myself Empress in the Dormition Cathedral on April 25th, 1742. Although I had been somewhat self-indulgent and flawed, it is a good thing that I had inherited my father's natural genius for government. I also procrastinated quite a bit, but even though it was sometimes unneccessary, a few times it was necessary : a wise suspension of judgement under exceptionally difficult circumstances. I am quoted several times because of my brilliant proclamation blaming Russia's situation on old regimes. "The Russian people have been groaning under the enemies of the Christian faith, but she has delivered them from the degrading foreign oppression." is my favorite quote from myself. However brilliant my father was, his policies were not very effective in enforcing formative influence on the intellectual attitudes of the ruling classes as a whole, as I discovered when I ascended the throne, and I laid the groundwork for it's completion by my eventual successor Catherine the Great.

See that crown on my head? SEE IT? YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! I'M EMPRESS NOW!

Tsarina Elizabeth

I was born at Kolomenskoye on the 18th of December in the year of 1709. Because my parents were married secretly and did not reveal their marriage until after I was born, I was an "illegitimate" child. Even though they were married before my birth, it wasn't publicly acknowledged until later, so therefore many regarded me as being an illegitimate child of my parents. Despite that, I was proclaimed a Tsarevna and on 23 December 1721 a Tsesarevna. A lot of people used the fact that I was technically an illegitimate child against me to challenge my right to the throne, but I perservered. My parents were Peter the Great and Catherine I of Russia. My parents had twelve children, but only I and my sister, Anna, survived. My sister was betrothed to the Duke of Holstein-Gottorp, and the nephew of my father's old adversary. Although my father also tried to find a brilliant marriage match for me as well, to the French King Louis XV, the Bourbons declined my hand in marriage. It might have been because my parents were not married at the time of my birth, so my father searched and found another match for me. I ended up betrothed to Prince Karl Augustus of Holstein-Gottorp. However, a few days after the agreement, my fiance died. When I was younger, people called me a bright child, but my "formal" education wasn't complete. My father was too busy although he loved me dearly, and my mother was illiterate. Instead of my parents teaching me, they hired a French governess. I learned Italian, German and French, and I awed everyone around me by my talent and beauty. Everyone called me beautiful, smart, clever, and I knew I was dazzling. I was widely regarded as the most beautiful woman in Russia. I lived a carefree life, free of worries, until the death of my father came back to haunt me in the form of a successful coup by an ancient family that disliked my father. After my father's death, I was still treated with courtesy and cautious respect while as Aleksandr Danilovich Menshikov remained in power because of my adolescent half-nephew Peter II. However, the Dolgorukovs, an ancient Russian power, deeply resented Menshikov and had enough leverage for a successful coup. Because the Dolgorukovs hated the memory of my father, I was all but banished from the court! My cousin, Anna, ascended the throne after the coup. Despite being related to me very closely, she regarded me as a threat and had me under close her watch. Because of her, no one dared have their sons court me, so I turned to having lovers. One of my lovers, Alexis Shubin, had his tongue chopped off and was exiled to Siberia because of her! Although his tragic fate saddened me, I consoled myself with many other lovers. I found many, even a coachman, and a waiter! I certainly had enough variety. I eventually settled for a Ukranian peasant with a nice voice, Alexis Razumovsky. I liked him because although he was simple-minded, he did not have personal ambition. There have been many rumors regarding him and myself and something about a "secret marriage", but I will never tell, for it is my secret to keep.

Do you see why I was celebrated as the foremost beauty of Russia?